We live in a flat

Many Adults, 1 Boy & 1 Dog's Montessori Life in a Singapore flat

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Well-trained vs Well-behaved

"Hey Donna..."
"Yah?"
"You know you're supposed to be depressed?"
"Really?"
"Yah, really."
"Oh"
"So you can't look like this anymore."

"I can't?"
"No, you can't. Sorry."
"So.... can I  look like this?"

"No, that's the you sniffing at something look."
"Er, or maybe I should look like this?"

"That's not depressed. That's you waiting for something to happen."
"How about this?"

"That's you feeling sleepy and too lazy to do anything... "
"This is too hard."

"Hey, that's kind of close to looking depressed I guess."

So I saw this discussion thread on a forum the other day and my simple mind went, well isn’t it a matter of the dog either being intrinsically well-behaved because of its individual personality or a dog being well-behaved because it was well trained to be well-behaved? Regardless of which, the end result is the same — a well behaved dog.

Of course, a dog could be a part-time well-behaved dog. Donna for instance is wonderful when we are at home, but when we are not, there the dog goes on the forbidden sofa, there goes the household plastic goods, there goes the lemongrass teabags hung to keep lizards away, there goes whatever looks like a toy to her. Thank goodness that does not happen too often and through time, we learnt what we need to keep out of reach.

Some dogs behave well at home but get so distracted they behave as they will outside, regardless of their owner’s wishes. Some dogs behave themselves outside but their owners will tell you what holy terrors they become at home. Some dogs probably are well-behaved, except that their owners and the dogs don’t see eye to eye on what being well-behaved really means. Some owners don’t even need their dogs to be well-behaved. These dogs could do no wrong then right?

That one little thing about Donna is, she is generally well-behaved once she knows the rules and expectations. Disaster almost always only happen when routines get broken such as when we fall sick and don’t take her for longer walks or as regular walks/loo breaks. But sometimes people don’t really see that good behaviour. Somehow, people think that it is normal for dogs to be noisy, to bark, to pull on the leash,  to do all sorts of doggy things. And when they visit and see Donna sitting and staying on her bed quietly, they ask what is wrong with the dog? Is the dog depressed? Why is she so quiet? And when they pull too hard on the leash and Donna obediently stops and sit, they ask why is the dog so lazy and keep sitting down?

Even when Mr P explains that Donna’s behaviour is a result of training and not because she is depressed, some people still find it hard to reconcile that there is nothing wrong with the dog. We spent a lot of time bonding and working with the dog, gaining its trust and from there helping it learn to be a well-behaved dog that will not frighten friends and strangers who are scared of dogs. Unfortunately this effort and Donna’s good behaviour sometimes are overlooked because people already have preconceptions of how a dog should behave and being well-behaved is just not a part of it.

Marugoto Shokudou’s resident cat

There are few pet-friendly establishments around. We’re not sure about this one but Marugoto Shokudou is the rare restaurant in the neighbourhood with a resident cat.

That said, we never did see it inside the restaurant. We only see it loitering around the entrance most times we were there.

Still, it’s a rare cat that bows at you at the entrance.

Donna’s tips for rainy days

The sky is falling!

Tip 1/ Take cover.

Tip 2/ Take cover under the human i.e. find a human shield!

Tip 3/ Go to higher ground.

Tip 4/ Go to your safe place.

You have been warned. Good luck!

These set of photos is from earlier. There are some days she does better, some days she does worse.

Tamchiak, kiasu and kaypo is our dog

kid at the vet: is she a doberman?
me: no, she’s just a mongrel

Maybe, I’m habitually self-effacing and sometimes I discount my dog too much… I was thinking I need to remove “just” from my answer. Anyway, the last time I introduced my dog as a rescued dog, my friend thought the dog goes around rescuing things haha~ so I’ll just stick to “she’s a mongrel.”

But I love the idea of describing the dog’s personality. Morgan from Temporary Home, Permanent Love‘s new post on rescued mutts tries to introduce particular dogs not by breed but by their personality and character traits. And since Donna is a mongrel, I thought I’ll writing about Donna in her format.

Donna: 50% exuberant, 50% tamchiakgui, 30% kiasu, 30% kaypoh, 20% potential disaster, 20% suspicious, 10% loving and 100% patient buddy for dog idiots.

*tamchiakgui = greedy ghost, used to describe someone with a love of food
* kiasu = afraid to lose out
* kaypoh = busybody, tries be in the know or have a paw in everything

Donna struck us as quintessentially Singaporean in her kiasu and kaypoh ways.

How kiasu is Donna?
She likes to get a head start when we play fetch. She won’t sit and wait for you to throw the toy. No, she must already run for the toy when you haven’t even thrown it. If she were in a race, she’ll be the athlete that gets disqualified for false starts.

And when it comes to being kaypoh, Donna is quite the busybody. She is “big brother”. She must needs keep an eye on everything. Mr P in the room and me in the living room? No problem she will be right smack at a point where she can see me and the bedroom door for when he comes out. Donna supervises me doing chores. She tries to inspect our food. And now and then, she’ll try to suss out unsuspecting strangers too, some not too happy about her sniffing them :/

I had briefly thought about teaching her “don’t kaypoh” every time she make to sniff some stranger but I haven’t really done it. So yes, she is essentially still a monolingual dog.


Napping and surveillance. Not mutually exclusive. 

And food, what dog doesn’t love food? Stalk the kitchen? Yes. Sport the saddest soulful eyes for as long as it takes? Yes. Yes. Yes. I always thought saliva dripping out of the mouths of cartoon characters and visibly plopping on the floor was nothing more than overly-dramatic caricature. Doesn’t happen in real life. My dog showed me how wrong I was. :P

I’m not too sure how tamchiakgui came into popular use. Perhaps our ancestors think all ghosts are greedy, hence all the food offerings on top of the paper burning during Chingming. Now that I think about it, people do append the word gui (ghost) to the back of the adjective so kaypohgui works as well. Maybe our ancestors just had a fixation with ghosts in general, haha~

Anyway just so you know, 50% exuberant, 50% tamchiakgui, 30% kiasu, 30% kaypoh, 20% potential disaster, 20% suspicious, 10% loving and 100% patient buddy for dog idiots, may not all sound like all awesomely amazing traits but to us they can be pretty adorable at times and if that’s who our dog is, that’s who our dog is.

But that makes the introduction kind of wordy because a dog is not just a dog is she? So I’ll keep to “She is a local mongrel” for now.

Tamchiakgui, kiasu and kaypoh are words in the Teochew and Hokkien dialects. Use them with English with a sprinkle of Malay here and a smatter of Chinese there in Singapore and it becomes Singlish. Short, clipped sentences will do. We prefer efficiency in our language unless we’re writing it.

Doggy over-exuberance is adorable, yes?

Donna loves walks.

Most days, she is able to sit calmly so we can put the leash on her.

Some days, she is fidgety and can barely contain herself.

And then there are some other days when she is so happy, its almost as if she will explode with joy. She zooms here and there. She stops to wrestle with her toy. Then she zooms back and loops around you before she sits. She sits for a bit but when her collar comes close to her head, she shifts forward in her eagerness until the collar is at the back of her head rather than around her neck. And then she is off on her feet looping around again.

You give up and walk away since there is no putting the collar on her in that state. Then she suddenly discovers newly grown ears to hear with and goes to her bed as you tell her to.

See me! See me all nice and calm now.

We are not fooled Donna, not when your little flicking tip of the tail is giving you away!

But yes, let’s go! You see the ex-rug flying from under her feet as she bursts off like a runner doing the 100m dash at the gunshot. My, my…

Yup, we spent the first couple of months trying to instill some level of discipline and calmness in the dog. Starting from the basic sitting still so that the collar and leash goes on to not rushing out the door when the door swings open. But she’s not a robot so there are days she does these random spurts of high-energy doggy antics which can be amusing in small doses.

You know how we use keywords when it comes to dog training. “Let’s go” is one of them I repeat frequently with Donna. So frequently that I start to use it even when I don’t mean her, for example when Mr P and I are going out together without the dog. Now we have to resort to speaking in Chinese when we don’t mean to include her. Hmmmm…..

Donna has standards when it comes to picking up sticks

I remember there was a blog post I commented on some time back. Writer was writing about dogs that like to pick up sticks on walks. I replied that Donna doesn’t seem to have the propensity to do that, at the same time I was thinking that was just as well since there is always the potential of not so cute injuries resulting with dogs playing with sticks. Here’s another post at Team Unruly on Sticks – Not fun anymore.

Days later, I learnt that Donna did not have a disdain for sticks. It was just that her highness was more selective about the sticks she deigned to pick up. We were running down the stairs as her leash suddenly jerked taut. I turned my head back to find my dog with a stick of half-eaten satay in her mouth. @_@

In case you are not familiar with satay, it’s basically a yummy dish comprising of meat barbecued on stick/bamboo skewer and eaten with a spicy peanut dip.

Our dog doesn’t realise it, but she just gave a different spin on satay as a street food. But no, you are to leave it, Donna.

Leave it.


Here she is with a safer, soft toy in her mouth. 

Who says there is calm before the storm, who?

The problem with living on a high floor with an unobstructed view is that it can get really windy sometimes. And today the wind was huffing and puffing and blowing things down.

Donna doesn’t like the howling wind, so when it gets windy before a storm, I start to close all the balcony doors, the door to the yard, the windows, etc, as many openings as we can so that the howling is minimised.

But today the wind was so fantastically strong and buffeting against the pane that we had to go on the balcony to see it for ourselves, besides pulling the pots inside where they are less exposed to the strong wind. We could see blinds hurling around violently, other people righting their potted plants and plastic bags adrift in the middle of the sky. And then when we turned back we see this nervous grinning mug.

She dealt well with the wind and rain today. Good job Donna!

Cosying up the bare walls of our flat

This blog is titled “we live in a flat”, so finally a post about the flat!

We moved in only a year ago, and most of our efforts were more on making the space work with functional pieces that are aesthetically pleasing, rather than decor for decor’s sake. We didn’t get an interior designer in order to save cost. It turned out the fengshui master we hired to placate our superstitious parents had his own opinions when it came to our interior decor. So yes, you could call him the interior designer :P

For instance, Mr Fengshui Master said for the bedroom that we needed to have two horses running towards the balcony door and yet, at the same time their legs must be on the ground. @_@ I don’t believe anyone manufactures running horse figurines that have their four feet planted to the ground, if you know what I mean. The search continued. We installed two picture ledges in preparation for the miracle running horses. In the end, I gave up and did up two running horses on the laptop, printed and framed it. One framed picture looked lonely, so I have another of our wedding photo next to it. We further personalised the room with our initials and that’s about it for the room decor. It’s a comfortable room, with its clean lines and calming colours.

The living room is Donna’s main area of activity. This room has not escaped Mr Fengshui Master’s dictate either.

This is the wall where you should place your TV. This is where all the wealth will flow, he said, you need to put some form of vessel here with a small mouth to collect the wealth.

You know Mr Fengshui Master was using his eyes when he said that. The TV point is right there on that wall. But you know what, it’s almost thoughtful of Mr Fengshui Master to do that. We have a friend who had to relocate his TV point from one wall to another just because his Fengshui Master said so while intimating this would ensure a baby in the near future versus no baby if he did not do so.

And since the black TV is stark against the white of the wall and the furniture, we decided to follow the picture wall trend/fad/whatever you call it. Only, we are slowly growing it. There isn’t really a specific theme or colour scheme for the pictures, besides the consistent use of black frames. Just a random collection of print, wallpaper sample, postcard and photos we collected as we move along with life. Eventually I would like to incorporate our travel photos in there.

The latest addition is Donna’s picture, with some Donna pin badges from the shelter sale. The frames resting on the TV console helped to hide the electrical extension points and cords placed directly behind them :D

Turn left and we are at the entrance of the flat. You needed a clock or a mirror here (the wall facing the front door), something with reflective glass, Mr Fengshui Master informed us. A clock at the entrance wasn’t useful for us, so we elected to clad half the wall in mirrors. A set of three vertical mirrors were bought from Ikea. They were an affordable solution. After some experimentation, we hung those mirrors upside down so that the etched image casts a floral shadow on the adjacent wall when reflecting the spotlight. I love the effect. It’s my own little light garden canopy just before I step into the heart of the flat. :)

There’s more things than flies to bug a person with a curious dog

I knew you were trouble when you walked in…– Taylor Swift

Music dogs and kids shouldn’t sing when their humans/moms are around ;P

Anyway, the recent weekends were busy for us with various medical, family and other commitments that we were not able to find the time to take Donna to the dog park. As a result, Donna hadn’t had the chance to be off leash and let loose somewhere outside for quite some time.

But we always made sure she gets her everyday walk at least once a day. The other morning at the park we saw a squirrel and a pigeon around the same tree and I stopped to take a picture. Unfortunately by the time I clicked, the squirrel is plastered to the tree and the pigeon was on the other side of the tree so… well, can you spot them?

And as I was amusing myself with my camera phone, Donna was sitting by my side, and a man walked by with his beautiful black dog. And that black dog was pulling and prancing around even as the man continued walking. And the most amazing thing? Donna remained sitting with her loose leash!


Picture: Pretty, if restive, pure black dog. Yes I sneaked a picture, but their not identifiable anyway :P so it hurts nobody!

We continued our loop around the park when it struck me that there was something new near the fenced enclosures that I don’t believe were there before! Ok, they were just “pick up your dog poop signs”. But for the longest time I was lazily wondering what the fenced enclosure was for.

And since there was no other signage identifying the use for the enclosure, I took it that I could bring my dog inside and just give her the luxury of running free on her temporary private grass patch for a while.

Although I start to get some misgivings within 5 seconds of getting in there. For one, the gates were designed to be latched from the outside and there was no hole for one’s hand to go through to comfortably latch the gate from the inside. So yes, we left the  two gates unlatched.

Two, for an empty enclosure, this place is surprisingly full of flies! and red ants.

Three, Donna started sniffing the unknown bone like things sticking out of the ground. I kicked one and it broke and I still don”t know what they are. Some form of fungus maybe. But given my dog’s penchant of suddenly deciding to perform certain hazardous taste tests, one can’t be too careful.

Four, the remnants of a large tree could have been interesting, except that it was crawling with termites.

She didn’t take the opportunity to run much, being more interested in sniffing out the new place. But we did have to run once we got out of the fenced enclosure, just to shake off the flies.

The good news was Donna returned home with no ticks or other such parasites, the bad news for her was we showered her thoroughly anyway. Muahahaha!

Page 69 of 75

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