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Dog Socialisation 1 – What do you think of when you hear the word “socialisation”?

Socialisation.

That is a big word, isn’t it? And one that is not particularly intuitive either. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, we took Donna for an audition a temperament assessment with a Dog Daycare Center. Before that, the owner had asked me over email, “what breed is your dog”. And when I replied mongrel, I was asked – Is your dog socialised?”

To say I got my hackles up was an understatement. I got the underlying implication that mongrels are likely to be trouble-makers, and further conversation with the owner of the daycare center confirmed the truth of my suspicions. The owner said that the few times they had a mongrel, it had caused them problems.


Do we look like problems to you?

What happened to – Please treat each dog as an individual and see them for themselves?
Wasn’t that the point to the temperament assessment?

Is your dog socialised? – A very simple question.

I refused to answer it.

I don’t think socialisation is a one-day or even a one-week exercise. And to be honest, it would hurt my pride to say that my dog is not socialised. That will just blow all the time and effort I spent on her in the last 10+ months to smithereens.

If you have been reading this blog, you will know how much time we spent outdoors with her daily, how much we varied our walking routes so that can walk safely and quietly past dogs, people, bicycles, cars and cats, how much time we put to training her everyday on basic obedience, and how we try to engineer outings with other varying breed of dogs so that she may be expose to all sorts of dogs etc. , how much time we spent reading up on dogs so we discover there is a whole other dog world out there beyond Cesar Millan on TV.

What was I doing all that time then? If not socialising my dog?


We’re social. We’re kind of wishing you’ll be sociable with us too!

I wholly believe socialisation is an on-going process. My dog is not un-socialised, but she is not certifiably socialised as well. (It’s at times like this I wish I have that piece of paper called Good Canine Citizen to wave around! *paces around, agitated. :P*)

We did go ahead with temperament assessment. That Daycare Center is the nearest to our flat.

Process of temperament assessment

First thing the owner did after greeting us was to abruptly take Donna alone to an enclosed cubicle where she could spend time alone with Donna there. Donna paced around and jumped against the short wall surrounding the cubicle to survey her surroundings. We weren’t there and she could hear the dogs in the other play enclosures.

After a while, the owner starting introducing dogs, one by one into Donna’s cubicle. Donna did fine, so they took her to the larger play room where all the rest of the dogs were. Donna took some time to adjust, since she usually is more fearful in unfamiliar situations, and stuck close to the wall nearest to the office where we were. The office was a separate room where she couldn’t see or hear us, but we could see her view the online streaming video.

Eventually, she seemed to be more comfortable and started to play-bow this loudmouth of a beagle. So that’s good. Our Donna passed the temperament assessment.

That niggling sense of dissonance

And yet, I can’t help having this niggling doubt of whether Donna will be blamed because she is a mongrel, should there be an incident between Donna and another dog during daycare. I can’t help it. The seed of it was planted the moment the owner asked that one simple question – Is your dog socialised?

An innocent looking question, but it speaks volumes for the owner’s own understanding of mongrels as a type of dog for her business.


I’m good with small dogs :) Are you sure I am not good for your business?

It is human to be protective of your own dog, just as it is human to be protective of your own daycare business. Nobody is in the right or wrong.

And so we do intend to have Donna go to daycare when our schedules get too tight. And hopefully, as we get to know the owner better, there would be more trust in this relationship .

On hindsight, I do feel that perhaps I was too sensitive when it comes to the Daycare Center owner’s comments. But it was the first time I had come directly across someone with a clear bias against mongrel dogs. Of course, I do pass by the odd parent that tells their children the dog will bite them when we go for walks. But I tend to think that these parents will warn kids about a dog, whether it is a mongrel or a big dog like a Golden Retriever. At least, I am hopeful that is the case.

Have you had similar issues with Daycare before? What do you look out for to determine if a daycare center is a good choice for your dog?  


This is part 1 of a series of posts looking at socialising our dog. Look at for part 2 where we talk more about what is socialisation, coming soon!

Note: Some of you who have been visiting recently or have read the about page, will already know that I am not the expert, having only adopted a dog early this year. What I have written in these series of posts on Socialisation, is what I understand from what I have read and my experience with Donna. What I hope to achieve with this exercise is hopefully a discussion on dog socialisation and from there verify or adjust my approach, based on the good learnings I may get from this discussion. I am sure there is always room from improvement. I know I have benefited a lot from comments in my previous posts, and I hope you find the post and comments helpful too!

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25 Comments

  1. That might have got me going to. But like you said, she has to run a daycare smoothly with no problems. Maybe she asks that of everyone?

    • The breed question is a standard question that she probably asks as routine. But the response to the mongrel answer, would not be general to all. We were asked if the dog is socialised outside of a none-cage environment and that mongrels need their own space which the day care may not be able to cater to. I saw enough Golden Retrievers that are easily bigger than Donna when we were there, and I wonder do they need less space than mongrels to operate peacefully with other dogs? I don’t know Golden Retrievers enough to answer this.

  2. We took Sam to one of these type of daycares/kennels. I am not an expert on their policies, but having observed Sam while boarded, they also had streaming video, I became more comfortable with the assessment of dogs. Our place didn’t expect the dogs not to occasionally scuffle within safe reason, but wanted to make sure they for the most part could communicate with other dogs.

    We were acquaintances with a dog who was not approved. This dog would nonstop hump Sam. Sam would give appropriate nips and gentle growls with the other dog never picking up on the queues. Sam would progressively get more forceful with her signaling until a fight erupted. Sam NEVER fights with other dogs but this other dog was just “never socialized.” I know it sounds like a phrase to bristle at, but you wouldn’t socialize with a person who constantly irritated you and never got the hint, dogs shouldn’t be expected to either.

    It’s good that you are questioning this, good post.

    • I agree that a daycare has the responsibility to screen dogs to ensure a certain level of safety and congeniality among the dogs that go into daycare. I didn’t even mind about the breed question, since different breeds have particular characteristics and attributes or potential health concerns that need to be noted.

      What made me uncomfortable was that on hearing that our dog is a mongrel, we were asked if the dog is socialised outside of a none-cage environment and that mongrels need their own space which the day care may not be able to cater to. Clearly a problem specific to mongrels. I found it difficult to answer such a question because I felt that I have done a lot of work to socialise Donna but at the same time, I stubbornly refuse to say that she is NOT socialised! :P

  3. I’m fascinated by this whole concept of domestication of animals. How humans want them to BEHAVE. After all they are animals. I like your philosophy of care and treatment of Donna. She is a companion and family member–but she is a dog.

    • Thank you. Sometimes, precisely because she is a dog and unable to give voice to both the good and the bad, it is inevitable that we will worry when she is left with others outside of our control. It is true to, that we would want her to behave in certain ways that makes it not so much a pain to live with (i.e. the thunder phobia), but at the same time we need to keep reminding ourselves that she is a dog, and that it would be better for all if we were more patient. Hard though. :)

  4. He said that if He were ever asked that question He’d say “Kyla is so socialized that she reads Karl Marx every day”.

  5. “Kyla is so socialized that she reads Karl Marx every day” – brilliant! Made me laugh, unless she DOES read KM every day, in which case, I feel a bit uneasy she’ll unionize dogs and we will have to share all our meals with them. Ha!

  6. I’m also hoping the daycare owner asks that of everyone. Aren’t most dogs mixed breeds anyway? I’ve thankfully never had anyone judge my mixed-breed dog like that, at least not that I’m aware of. They’ve paid less attention to him when we’ve been out walking with purebred dogs, but I don’t think anyone has ever expected him to act any worse than other dogs.

    Good for Donna for passing the test. She seems like a good girl to me!

    • Fair amount of pure breeds over here! Unless we go to the dog run, we never see a mix when we walk around the neighbourhood… only little pure breed dogs. I suspect it has got to do with our housing policy. There’s a list of approved dogs for flats…. needless to say, the list comprise of all purebred small/medium dog breeds.

      And thank you, now that I have written it, I do feel more sanguine and ready to move on. Haha! *goodness, how childish…*

  7. You obviously know the situation better than I do, but are you sure the socialization question was asked as a direct result of your answer? I have never come across anyone who thinks mutts are more anti-social, so maybe she was just going through a standard questionnaire? In any event, I think you have the right idea that training/socialization is not something you ever “complete.” It’s a lifelong process.

    • Just the thing! Mr P and I both heard the same thing, that mongrels don’t do well in a pack in our verbal interview with her. Objectively speaking, it may be true in our country, particular if people adopt and do not bother or have the time/knowledge to invest in the necessary socialisation opportunities, structure and training for the mongrel. But stereotyping is not going to help mongrel dogs any.

      And to answer your question, the socialisation question came directly after the answer so I did assume so. Sometimes it’s just the way that questions and comments are put together that give you the sense that something is off.

      But if I run a daycare, I would probably ask all the humans the same thing, so I should just be sanguine and take it that she was doing her due diligence when it comes to screening customers.

  8. I don’t think you should feel offended – I’m pretty sure most doggie daycare facilities ask similiar questions. Maybe they don’t use the word socialized but maybe ask if your dog is used to playing with other dogs. A well-run daycare is a better option than a dog park because the play is monitored. At the dog park you have to hope that all the dogs are friendly and that the people are paying attention and able to control the dog if things get out of hand. And I totally agree that socialization is an ongoing thing and should continue through a dog’s lifetime. I’m glad Donna enjoyed the play. :)

    • I like your way of putting it, if the dog is used to playing with other dogs. :) I think I would have responded better to such a question. I guess, sometimes when one is in the industry for too long, they may use jargon that people like me may not comprehend on the same level. Your way of putting it in such simple terms is effective for me.

      And yes, I do see the value in a well run day care as you have described compared to the dog run. I have stopped feeling offended. It’s amazing how cathartic writing about it can be. I’ve actually delayed writing about this for a couple of weeks so that I may be sure that I am level-headed and objective, but it seems like I have not put it past me when I published, not until after reading all the comments and thinking about it all over again. Good exercise.

  9. None of my dogs has any papers except for whatever pedigree they came with … ALL of them were rescues on some level — purebred notwithstanding. Probably no one would consider them properly socialised and they are terribly disobedient — and incredibly funny and sweet. Terrorists, all four of them. And we love them very much, the cuties.

  10. My girl Gracie is purebred and seriously not socialized, so I am always so impressed with all the work you do with Donna. Gracie is the sweetest girl ever, was great with the small dog we did have and is amazing with all the cats…she’s just never been properly socialized to other dogs and so I’m afraid would do terribly if taken to a doggie day care. She would not pass the “test” for sure as she would be so afraid. All our fault I’ll admit but the reality is that she mostly is just at home with us and we travel rarely (too many pets to care for!). She is totally good with people too (including kids), just afraid of other dogs.

    • I think the extent one trains or socialises a dog is very much tied to the type of lifestyle one wants to have with a dog and what one perceives as problems.

      It’s not so much we are good dog humans or anything, but more, if we want to have two working adults in the family and have the peace of mind that the dog is ok when the adults are out, then Donna needs to be socialised so that she will find it fun and be accepted in a daycare environment. And if we want to have two productive and happy adults in the family, Donna needs to gradually lose her fear of thunder because having to wake up and keep her company at night creates a lot of stress on one’s sanity.

      Of course, humans are individuals with their own unique likes and dislikes. Like Teepee12 says, her dogs are disobedient but they are cuties anyway. And of course your Gracie is a sweetheart and mostly at home and gets along with the other animals so you have no problems.And since I think you have a home business, it’s not an issue to you if Gracie cannot go to daycare because you don’t have the need in the first place.

      So as long as the pet fits the humans’ lifestyle, I think that is the best fit possible :)

      Thank you for your encouragement :)

  11. OMD! So she only asks the question about socialization when it comes to mixed breeds? That definitely doesn’t sound right. I can understand asking the question about socialization for all dogs who plan on staying at their facility. But the word socialization covers a lot of things, and like you said, it’s ongoing. Better questions would be more narrow such as does your dog get along well with other dogs, are they overly shy or overly dominant, is there anything we need to know about their temperament. And it would be smarter to ask everyone, not just those with mixed breeds.

    • No, I think the socialisation question is part of her standard questionaire, but we only went through that questionaire in the face to face. There are no question as you suggest that narrow down on the dog’s character. We volunteer the information. It seems the temperament assessment helps to show if the dog can more or less hang in with the same crowd so that she may be accepted.

  12. I can relate to your frustration. My incident was different but still left bewildered. I took Melvin to be assessed when I first got him. My resident dog at the time was nearing the end and i was just looking for ways to get Melvin out and about during our first weeks together in order to give Max (the other dog) a break from Melvin’s exuberance. I had never taken a dog to doggy daycare before. They did the assessment on Melvin and came back and told me he was aggressive so they would put him with other aggressive dogs. I paused, nodded, took Melvin’s leash, walked out and never returned. Did I agree he was likely aggressive, yes. Did the thought of him in a ring of others like him worry me, uh, yeah. At the end of the day, daycare just wasn’t for Melvin. And I doubt Melvin was ever socialized before this incident and they didn’t even ask about that!

    • I’m so glad you just walked out. I mean, any sane, logical person will think there is a problem with putting an aggressive dog with a whole pack of other aggressive dogs. What was that daycare thinking???

      Melvin looks very much zen from your stories and pictures. I wouldn’t ever have thought he was aggressive or fearful. You’ve worked magic with him ^___^

  13. I am way behind and I won’t speak for the day care owner, but it is possible that the reason she asked about the breed is because there are temperaments that go along with certain breeds. When you are buying a purebred dog, one of the things you are buying is a particular temperament. So if I say I have a lab, the person has an idea of what that dog’s temperament should be. With a mix there is no such standard to measure against. Of course not all dogs have the correct temperament for their breed so I would be surprised if the owner did not ask every pet owner whether their dog is socialized.

    PS try owning a Chessie and you will see that the question about Donna and her temperament is pretty mild in comparison…lol.

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