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Many Adults, 1 Boy & 1 Dog's Montessori Life in a Singapore flat

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If I don’t focus on the walk, the dog won’t too

The pictures are real, taken in our flat or on a recent walk.
The words are fairy-tale.

Now, where shall we begin? Oh yes…

Three people walk into a bar that we went past during our walk today. Three men in striped shirts. We saw them in the doorway, against the patterned mirrors, stamping their feet as they made their way in.

One of them, nearly tripping over the curled corner of the oriental patterned rug, bumped into the umbrellas by the doorway and sent them scattering.

The clatter got the attention of the people in the bar, who turned to look at the man at the entrance. He smiled apologetically, embarrassed at the unexpected attention. He noted the ladies who seemed to have some unspoken colour code in their dress.


They soon returned to their conversation.

The three men seated themselves at a table by the window. They placed their orders. He turned to look out the window. The scene outside was overcast and dull.

Suddenly, the man who never paid attention to bright colours missed the cheer of his former girlfriend in frills and floral prints.

But all he saw out the window was a nondescript woman walking an equally ordinary-looking mongrel. And both were looking distracted.

He sighed. No use thinking about the ex.

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She was contemplating patterns.  And light and shadow. Probably an influence by Lens and Pens by Sally. And so she snapped some equally nondescript images of the path she and the dog were on. Patterns that perhaps got repeated in other cities in other countries. The pattern of foliage silhouettes on concrete, the repeated twists of the fence, the weave of leaves in and out of it.

 

The pattern of the tiled path, its brick borders and the drain covers that make up the very fabric of this corner of existence.

And the columns of the sheltered walkway, as they lined themselves until the end of the path. A regular pattern of columns that unfortunately gave dogs plenty of opportunities to discover and enjoy, and cats to hide behind as they continued their way down the path.

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The woman stopped and fiddled with her phone for a while. The dog sat as she squatted unglamourously by the side of the path, pointing her phone at something. But then the dog nosed into her viewfinder perhaps. She looked surprised and stunned. It took a few seconds before she suddenly made for the dog’s muzzle, prised it opened and looked into its maw. The man has never seen that happen with anyone before but it was obvious that it was not the first time she did that.

“What are you looking at?”

The man turned back to his two friends.

“Nothing,” he said, “Ah, the drinks are here.”

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She was contemplating macro, until the dog ate the subject.


Oh well, the shots aren’t really macro-macro anyway. And the experiment ended rather unfortunately for the Cupid’s Shaving Brush. She thought she would try again some time later in the week. Guess cupid will have to shave another day.

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“*Ahem*, is this seat taken?”

The three man looked up to see a young man, unshaven, blinking down at them.

“Do you mind if we share a table? Every other table is full.”

“Sure,” his friend replied, although he sounded a bit unsure.

The man could have sworn that he saw the slight flicker of luminescent wings as the young man sat down among them.

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Outside, the wind grew strong as it danced roughly around the trees and the bushes along the empty path. But nobody noticed.

Note: The first and last image are photos taken of the prints in the flat. Copyright of the actual design and prints belong to Samantha Hahn and Wun Ying.
Note2: I was thinking of a movie title as I wrote this.

Silly

Mr P: Oophf, oophf, it’s hard work chasing after a dog.

Me: It’s just lying there like a beached whale!

Mr P: You try reaching her on a stationary bike :D

Donna and the poisonous leaf

Even before the fish and the dog came along, we had the plants. My very blighted wrightia religiosa, my blighted by association dracaena frangrans on one end of the balcony and on the other end, my water sucking hydrangea.

The hydrangea is not a very common or popular houseplant in my country, I don’t think. Except over Chinese New Year, when households will buy for decorative purposes and then throw away. So it is probably not common knowledge over here at least that the hydrangea is poisonous to dogs.

Hydrangeas are one of those interesting plants with cyanogenic glycosides. Basically, this means that under times of stress, the plant can have available CYANIDE, which is extremely toxic…The plant does contain irritants that can cause Gastrointestinal irritation (GI), and most of the time mild self-limiting GI upset can be seen – mild vomiting and diarrhea. In larger ingestion, you can see more severe vomiting and diarrhea, and hyperthermia has been reported. Some cases can develop vomiting or diarrhea with blood. The treatment for hydrangea toxicity is supportive / symptomatic care. – via justanswer.com

I love the large bushels of flowers that the plant produces, so we never really considered getting rid of the plant for the dog’s safety. And Donna had scant curiosity for the plant anyway, she spent most of her time in the living room and I can count on one hand the number of times she ventured onto the balcony by herself.

And so we thought we could trust her to leave the plant alone.

Aigh… our complacency had its downfall.

I suppose it was inevitable Donna eventually decided to sample a leaf.

I was in the kitchen at the time but could hear her bell and tag clanking from the balcony. As usual, I went to check because we don’t really think the balcony is the safest place for the dog considering the posionous plant and the potential for free fall down more than 20 floors to smack on the landscape garden below.

I was too late to witness anything but the circumstantial evidence.

A quarter of a leaf torn off. Half of it spat on the floor. The other half not in her mouth, but one can smell the zesty scent of greenery hurriedly swallowed in that recalcitrant maw of hers.

I was vexed. I didn’t know what to do, or what was going to happen. Perhaps she could detect I was vexed, she gave me gentle licks on my leg as I stood watching the bit of leaf lying limply on the floor.

She was lively still, hardly dying.

Should I make her drink lots of water? Not that I know how to do that. She drank at her own time, her own discretion.

Should I still feed her her dinner that was already on the kitchen counter.

The vet’s reception was always busy. They didn’t pick up my phone call. I sent an email. I googled.

I found an answer here.

Since she seems fine now, she’s probably going to be ok, although is she’s showing any signs of respiratory distress, take her immediately to your veterinarian.

For now, I would not feed her for 12 hours to allow her GI tract to settle. You can offer her small amounts of water beginning 2 hours after her last vomiting episode – if she can hold down the water, you can slowly allow her to have more at 1 time, until you can leave the bowl down for her.

When you do feed her, I would recommend a bland diet for 1-2 days of boiled chicken and rice – fat free, and a little broth, just to be on the safe side. She could have a very irritated or even ulcerated stomach lining. No treats or human food for 3-5 days.

You can also administer 1/2 of a 10 mg pepcid (if you have one) when you begin offering water. This may help with stomach upset, and can be repeated every 12-24 hours.

If she continues to vomit, or develops other symptoms, please see your vet.

Since it didn’t seem advisable to feed her and the rain had stopped, I took her out for a slow leisurely walk, which is something that we usually do at that time of day anyway. Perhaps fifteen minutes later, Donna started to vomit. A small round pile of yellowish muck about the size of a mug. And she would continue to hurl five times more. When she ran out of yellowish muck, she puked white foam.

Apart from the times she sat down and threw up, she was still very active and spent no time wasted inspecting the grass.

But by the sixth time, we decided enough is enough and took her to the vet.

Like the last time we were there as a walk in, we were the last to see the vet. The vet tech recommended no water for Donna while we waited. A patch of hair on her neck was shaved off, a blood test was done.

The results, the levels for her liver was slightly high, about 10points higher than normal. Otherwise, she wasn’t in any pain or discomfort, being still lively and frankly recalcitrant and perhaps unaware of her misadventure.

But oh is she serving her penance now, in the form of regular doses of disgusting gut protecting pills and supplements containing milkthistle among other things. She hates the minty taste and snorts her disgust every time I shoot the liquid down her throat with a syringe. What to do? Doctor’s orders.

Another blood test two days later found her liver levels normal again.

And we are now vigilantly closing balcony doors whenever we are not in the living room with her!

Pictured left: Donna at the vet looking at the cleaner vacuuming the floor on the other end after closing time. We were still waiting to pay vet bills and to get her medication. It wasn’t too bad since we could laugh at “The Noose” which was playing on TV.

Donna doesn’t bother our Siamese fighting fish

… but she sometimes thinks she is entitled to fish food, so she steals the bottle of fish fish in the hopes of getting to the pallets inside. So far for her efforts, all she accomplished was a chewed bottle cap. Fish food is safe!

Mr P and I live with our dog Donna and a Siamese fighting fish.

We had the fish first. My health wasn’t very good so my husband Mr P bought two fishes to give a bit more life to our two-person home. One of the fish has since died, so we are left with one.

We got the dog later. I had fractured my ankle and was suffering from nerve problems in my toes, spent a lot of time at home alone. With all that time, we thought we were finally ready to get a companion animal. But since I couldn’t walk very much, we didn’t adopt the dog until later when I regained some mobility. Donna became very much a exercise companion, pushing me to go take a walk and exercise that foot even though it hurt everyday.

One feels livelier with a dog. Donna has this constant positive energy about her, always ready to go out and explore the world. Always ready to jump up to her feet and follow to see what’s up, even if she was napping. (OK, I lie, sometimes she only raises her head, as if trying to decide if it is worthwhile moving her whole lazy body.)

She finds such joy in simple things that she cavorts, almost obsessive compulsively, always welcoming you home with a toy in her mouth and her tail wagging like a helicopter ready to lift off.  It’s as if she doesn’t move, she will explode.

And yet, when she calms down, she gives very endearing gentle licks on your toes, on your knees, on your hands, any part of you that she can reach.

The dog didn’t ask for us or it’s previous owner to give it a home. We heard Donna was abused. And when she was returned to the shelter, her mother and siblings didn’t welcome her. They couldn’t get along. The shelter had to put the dog that couldn’t get along with an old dog that could suffer her.

But Donna didn’t seem too unhappy with her lot even when she was at the shelter. There were volunteers to play with, and she could always watch the main door in anticipation of the next dog or human that comes in.

And when she came home with us, she adjusted. Sure there’s less excitement here with two quiet adults than at the shelter, but she has a roof over her head and food to eat. She doesn’t get cold and wet when it rains for days during the monsoon season. And she gets three walks a day rather than two walks a week when the shelter volunteers come in on weekends to walk the dogs.

It’s not difficult to enjoy life, the ups and downs and all it brings. The dog does it, we can too.

How Donna came to us

When Donna came home with us, we pretty much had access to what was most accessible in the mass media – Cesar Milan and his Dog Whisperer series. You’re either a fan or a hater, or you couldn’t care less. Me? I thought the Dog Whisperer wasn’t a bad thing. It gave us newbies a clue as to what can get really bad with a dog and sort of prepared us for our first foray into dog shelter wonderland. I mean, come on, I never had close contact with dogs in my entire life, of course I’d be scared of walking into a shelter full of happy go lucky, barky dogs running around. So yes, I followed “No touch, no talk, no eye contact” that very first time we went to the shelter. Made a beeline for the bench right at the back of the big yard the ten or more dogs were in and plonked my butt on the bench and just sat there, soaked up the atmosphere. Had a big dog Mario plonk his head on my lap, as casually as the old school cat that used to climb into my cross-legged lap and nap there after I fed her (that was always the highlight of my day back in my teenage school life and yes, I was more a cat person than dog haha). Mr P’s cousin identified the dogs by name to us.

An hour or two later, we went out of the fenced yard with no dog in mind. To my untrained eyes, they look all the same! The only dog I can identify with 100% success rate was Mario, because he was the only white dog there. But he was too big for our apartment and we were looking for a younger adult dog who can spend many years with us. We were close to just leaving the shelter when Florence stopped to speak with us and suggested Donna, who was sharing a small yard closest to the exit, with the old male dog Buddy and a washing machine.

The introduction, now that one comes to think of it, is comical. Come in, this is Buddy, he is human aggressive. Just don’t go too near to him (maybe I just have a warped sense of humour). Donna was lying around sleepy after her meal, but she responded to treats, sat and pawed for us. Florence did some selling and we thought Donna was a possibility.

We subsequently had two trial homestays with Donna.

The first one freaked me out when she got so excited she pranced up and down the sofa and basically tuned me out. I tried to get her down the sofa, but her mouth was snapping at my hand. I went out to the balcony to regain my calm, by the time I returned, she calmed down too. Florence laughed and told me Donna never bit anyone before when I told her about the incident. On hindsight, we realised that she was having fun playing and never really intended to bite, but to someone like me with no real understanding of dogs, it can be unnerving with an out of control, excited dog.

By the second homestay, we had more confidence in ourselves after having visited Donna for many weekends walking her. We knew that Donna at the shelter is a different dog from Donna at home. Donna at the shelter was fixated on the main door, doesn’t finish her food, likes to steal morsels of food from Buddy, is challenging to leash when she squirms around in excitement and can rival an Olympic gymnast twirling a ribbon as she spins endlessly in circles, saliva trailing after her. Donna at home still turns her nose up on food, but is calmer and doesn’t spin frantically in circles. We may not entirely be assertive, but we are pretty calm and we have learnt after the first homestay to prevent her excitement from building up by stopping play and ignoring her until she calms down again.

Donna came home permanently with us at the beginning of this year. Florence warned us that all the bad habits will come out when she adjusts to her new home.

I did think of it as bad habits, but as I did more research on Donna’s behaviour, I started to think of it as the dog adjusting to a new abode and trying to make the best of living with two new humans. Donna was previously house-trained, so it was not difficult to get her back to using the newspaper. But if the newspaper was removed, or if the kitchen rug was in closer proximity, the kitchen rug became the next preferred place for her business. This to me was not ideal since it prevented me from getting my meals and her meals. Clean up became the top priority when she did it on the kitchen rug and clean up was a pain and I did lose my patience. I ended up throwing the rugs, and replacing them with new ones. Things went back on track for a while until I slipped a tray under the newspapers. It made sense to us as the tray can collect any seepage and we can push the tray under the sink so that the common toilet can still be used by house guests without the yucky feeling of dog pee on the toilet floor. Unfortunately, Donna decided she had a fear of the tray and went back to the next most sensible spot (to a dog) — the kitchen rug. By then, I was convinced that no matter how well trained, there is always the potential for mishap, so Donna was barred from the kitchen. We installed a child gate.  And since I enjoyed our walks  and hated cleaning up her pee and poop at home, I stopped lazing in bed and took her out for walks on time in the morning (delays could mean she would go at home) and also later in the evening and at night before her bedtime. My ultimate dream is for her to finally learn to poop on demand!

Fast forward to today, which is about two months since Donna has come to live permanently with us, I am starting to think that living with a dog will always be as much as an on-going process of adjustment as living with another human being. The difference is that there is so much more that one needs to actively learn in order to manage the dog since it cannot speak with us, give us verbal and easy to understand feedback like a human can. The Dog Whisperer continues to be a fun sort of entertainment where you can see all sorts of dogs that you may not see on the streets in Singapore, but we’ve also learnt that there is more than just one methodology when training your dog. Do we really need to be all dominant and always eat before we feed our dog, which pardon me, sounds a little wacky :P So more and more, I veered towards trying different things from  bodily blocking her and stopping her from entering the study (which is out of bounds to her) to positive reinforcement of actions that I like from her. If I see her sitting calmly by herself outside the study while I work, rather than clattering in and demanding attention, I surprise her with a treat. After a while, she learnt to relax and chill out, catch a nap by the door.

I’ve also tried negative punishment – if she starts tugging, we walk in the other direction from where she wants to go, and when she stops tugging, she gets to continue the walk and that worked really well so that we can at least enjoy our walk together without inconveniencing the people around us particularly on narrow sidewalks.

But yes, two months is a short time and we are still very much a work in progress, trying to figure out how we fit and gel together from food to play to engaging and bonding with our new dog.

 

Note: This post is written March 06, 2013. It’s now 21 Oct, 2013. I’ve become better at reading dog body language and no longer watch Cesar Milan for entertainment. I have started finding it exceedingly uncomfortable to see the fearful dogs being dominated by a “trainer” who doesn’t understand the behaviours they are showing… too painful to watch. I will not recommend it as entertainment.

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